The tipping point to my soul searching post on the NYTimes happened a few days earlier. I was giving a ride home to my daughter and a teammate of hers. I knew that the teammate's mom was out of town and wouldn't return until late that evening. Part of me wanted to invite the kid to dinner. But I couldn't bring myself to do it out of shame of the mess in the house. And I felt horrible that I might be crippling my daughter's social life because I can't get and keep control of the clutter in the house. I felt crummy that I wasn't showing the kindness that I knew that I should.
The kids don't have playdates/friends over much because it IS a big deal. It always involves at least 4 hours of picking up and cleaning to be able to allow others into the house. And that's if everyone pitches in.
Oh and yes, I was picking up in the car before the girls got out of practice. The clutter extends to the car.
So. I want to fix this because this IS hurting my kids.
I understand, I struggle with the same thing too. I love FLYlady - she's really got some good ideas if you can get past the cutie purple stuff on her site.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.flylady.net/pages/begin_babysteps.asp
Start at that link. Read as much as you want, don't get overwhelmed. She has a great kick-start plan where she sends you an instruction every day. I still get daily emails telling me what I'm supposed to clean today, it really helps. I don't always do them, but at least I do some of it, and that's more than I'd have done without the email!
More than the fact that this is hurting your kids, it's hurting YOU. If you do it for your kids, then when they grow up and leave, you might end up like the folks on tv. Do it for yourself, for the way YOU want to live. You deserve it!
Thanks Jenn! Yes, of course you are right, I deserve better too. But it is my kids well-being that is getting me kick-started.
ReplyDeleteI had looked a FLYlady several years ago. At the time, it struck me as great for a SAHM who had time to do everything she said, but ridiculous for someone working full time - there weren't enough hours in the day.
I think I'll take another look though.